Love in a hot climate like Cape Town


Sweet for love: The cosmopolitan Malick graces the exit of a Long Street bathroom

Not for sale: Eddie, a Long Street regular of long standing, considers his many opportunities to find true love

Royal: Prince Gilbert, a Moroccan aristocrat and experienced lover

Write to us: Is Cape Town becoming a sex tourism destination? lifestyle@sundaytimes.co.za

‘People are so horny in Cape Town. I have never seen a place where everyone is so horny’

‘There has always been a shortage of men in Cape Town: eight girls to every man. Perhaps these foreigners are simply — to coin a phrase — filling a gap’

In Cape Town’s Long Street, Lin Sampson meets delectable African boys who lay honey traps for streetwise women from Europe — or is it the other way round?.

They walk down the road, startling in their beauty, pink suit in shot silk, polished hair streaked with henna, the crackle of crocodile-skin shoes, liquorice- coloured lips, skinny vests — a posse of young black men on the town, wrapped in a shield of alpha-male ego.

They know what they want and, luckily for them, there’s a lot available.

Long Street, club land of Cape Town, awaits them, and with it a shine of foreign girls — many from the cold northern countries — with hair the colour of sauce Béarnaise.

This night — the hottest, apparently, in living memory — the street tumbles with single women of all ages, sizes and nationalities. They are nice girls from good homes, many from Scandinavia and Germany; girls who were confirmed in the Lutheran church, who have strict moral codes.

This is about the most exotic place they have encountered in their lives. It is a long, long way from Stockholm.

Some of the women are what is known as mature; many as old as 60. These women are on romance holidays, and this summer Cape Town was the hot destination.

The new Latin lover is a black African.

Prince Gilbert is a smooth-talking Cameroonian, sleekly sexy and a member of his country’s royal family. He now lives in Oslo but witnessed the Cape Town scene when he lived in the city. He says it’s tough on the guys.

“You meet quite a few girls. A young, handsome African like me feels a bit like a meat market, almost like an abuse. You have to think what you want, if you just want to have fun or whether you are really wanting to settle down. People are so horny in Cape Town. I have never seen a place where everyone is so horny,” says Gilbert.

Malick, on the other hand, says he is only looking for love. He is a sweet- faced man, lightly perfumed with something spicy. His father comes from Morocco, his mother from the Congo, and he was brought up in Kinshasa. He lives in a small apartment which he shares with others, and spends his nights in Long Street.

He has tried various entrepreneurial activities; many, it seems, failed. Surviving is a treacherous affair, tricky and often demented, but he lives life with hope and patience and good manners. His English is fractured and our conversation has a strange on-and-off quality, like a faulty electrical device, because we stop frequently for clarification.

Are these girls looking for sex? I ask Malick.

“He can’t tell you he wants sex.”

Do you mean “she”?

“Yes, she, but you can see yourself when you talk with him.”

Do you mean her? “Yes, her.

“I meet lots of girls here. I meet one from Germany. I meet another from Sweden, England, France.”

Why do they come here?

“It is the white man. How do you say? The white man is not being sexy, you can say. Black men very strong, every time they are going on.”

And do you take money? “No, no, this is for love.” Malick looks affronted and puts his hand on his heart.

“It is my dream to marry a white girl; that is what I am dreaming of all the time.”

Like Malick, Eddie, an old Long Street hand much loved by women, says he would never have sex for money. “Never, never.” He reclines in his black-and-orange floral shortie pyjama suit, much in vogue here. “But sometimes you have some financial problems and the woman can help you out, like in any normal love affair or marriage.”

When I say, But you are very sexy, Eddie, he agrees calmly: “Yes, I know.”

Later in the evening we see his black-and-orange pyjama-style outfit, his familiar swagger, batting his way down the street with a pretty blonde girl on his arm.

Biya (not his real name), another Cameroonian and habitué of Long Street, has been dating foreign girls for many years. He is as polished and lacquered as a geisha. His aim is twofold: self-preservation and self-presentation.

His voice sounds like water trickling over ice cubes.

“There are many, many women who are coming here. My friends, they like the blondes. The white skin. It does not matter the girl. It is the skin. They do not care if they are big or small, big fat girls, they do not care about the face. They want the blonde.

“What happens is that in the beginning they [the girls] don’t take it so serious, but they end up by falling in love. Some of them fall pregnant, then the whole thing becomes something else. Most of them who come have boyfriends. They leave their boyfriends behind. You say, ‘So, what are you doing?’ They say pleasure-doing. They end up by going back and dumping their boyfriends and coming back.

“Then these girls get up by getting stuck?” says Biya, pointing to his head.

“Stuck in Africa. Once you have black man, you don’t want other man.”

According to Biya many of these girls are experienced.

“They know what they want. First thing they look at your face and they imagine about size of penis. They are always in group. They sit among them and gossip about size of penis from the way you look. That is how they go for you. There are certain people who they know they have nothing and they don’t worry about them. I was so shocked when some girl greeted me and started folding my hand like this [he makes a fist]. I say, ‘What you looking for?’ She says she looking for size of penis from my hand,” he explains.

Biya says the common age group is between 23 and 50. Money is not initially discussed — that is something that comes afterwards. “With a man,” says Biya, “things are very different. Money is discussed immediately.”

The magicians of these holiday romances are the tour guides.

They are not efficient, blazored men with clipboards who know the history of Long Street, but exotic freelancers with the gift of the gab, dressed in something loudly African. Many of them have contact with the concierges of hotels who use them as taxi drivers or guides.

read the full story on the Sunday Times website here…

50 Most Important People on the Web 2007

Larry Page GooglePC World has just releases a new list of 50 Most Important People on the Web. The people featured in this list have each made a significant contribution to development of the Internet. Notably missing is Bill Gates and that’s likely because of him announing his retirement. It is worth studying these people in greater detail because they are some of the best new business role models alive today. Truly exceptional individuals in most cases. Here’s my favourites:

Today, the person I would like to meet the most is Steve Jobs. However, when I was growing up I admired Bill Gates and followed his every move. The book Accidental Empires by famous industry columnist Robert X Cringely is a brilliant exploration of the early years of the PC industry and highly recommended. The funny thing is that Bill Gates the original poster child for paradodies with a now defunt website available as a book also, The Secret Diary of Bill Gates. More recently Steve Jobs has been the target of a hilarious parady blog: The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. So would you rather be Steve Jobs or Bill Gates?

In 2003 I met Mikko Hypponen # 43 on the list when I organised a series of IT Security Conferences in Johannesburg, Cape Town and Durban. I was contracting to Y3K Group, now ISA and they used to be primary agents for F-Secure in South Africa. So we got to spend some good time together and I learnt a ton from this awesome speaker on how to convey the very complex technical message of anti-virus and Information Security into layman’s terms.

Oh and BTW, how did I find out about this list? My MySpace friend, Tila Tequila #50 sent a Bulletin announcing her position on this awesome list ;-) So the question remains…how do I make a significant contribution to the development of the Internet, to be listed on such a list? Maybe a 50 Most Important People on the Internet in South Africa is order. Let me know who you think should be on such a list.

Vote for NETucation on South African Blog Awards

SA Blog AwardsNETucation has been nominated as the Best Business Blog for the 2007 SA Blog Awards. So please click on the logo to the right and scroll down the bottom, look for the Business category and select netucation.co.za and vote.

Here’s the full article reprinted from BizCommunity:

Industry support for SA blogging community


The 2007 SA Weblog Awards are moving from an enthusiasts-only event to a credible competition, thanks to Storm Telecom’s sponsoring of a Mac Book Pro, worth over R17 000, which will go to the winner of Best Overall Blog. “In previous awards the prizes were essentially little more than public acknowledgement,” says Jonathan Cherry, MD of Cherryflava Media, who is hosting the awards.

“This fantastic first prize lifts the profile of the awards dramatically and adds credibility. Now the SA Blog Awards are becoming a major event in publishing, thanks to the support of companies like Storm,” continues Cherry.

Now in its third year, the awards showcase the best of South African independent web publishing, as nominated and voted for by the SA web community.

Bringing people together

Explains David Gale, new business development director at Storm Telecom, “As a major Internet service provider in South Africa, we are interested in the development of online communities and technologies that bring people together,”

“Blogging is pretty new in South Africa – it’s an adventure for bloggers and an adventure for us. We want to stimulate the professionalism and quality of blogging in SA by giving bloggers incentives to put effort and value into what they do,”

Blogs are a mixed bag: they can be a source of information or analysis on niche or obscure topics; they can be a news media that operates outside the constraints of the traditional publishing establishment; they can be a source of amusement and deep satire. They can also be irrelevant personal narratives, random diatribes and barely-literate scrawls.

Bubbling to the top

“There’s an awful lot of rubbish, which is the nature of user-generated content, but the good stuff bubbles up to the top,” comments Gale.

“Internationally, blogs generally don’t last more than a few months, many just limp for years in a twilight existence, but some have become major media with millions of page impressions a month. To succeed, bloggers need to be driven by a purpose, to have a passion,” comments Gale.

Companies are becoming more aware of blogs as ways to communicate with their customers, and ways for their customers to communicate with each other, either to provide support, or to slam bad service or products.

Nasty surprise

“Companies that ignore bloggers could be in for a nasty surprise when they discover themselves being pilloried across many blogs on the Internet. At the same time, they can be a powerful ally in marketing, as they’re often perceived as being more credible than online sales blurbs,” says Gale.

The SA Weblog Awards were created to give recognition to people that have dedicated a lot of time to their blogs, and to give them the exposure they need, drawing more readers to their sites, and to blogs in general. Blogging is ‘power to the people’ for those with a passion, whether its broader topics like current events or politics, or personal subjects like fertility or philosophy.

“Bloggers are usually not beholden to advertisers, so it’s real raw opinion,” concludes Cherry.

The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford

Undercover Economist Tim HarfordWhat does price of Cappuccino and China new wealth have in common?

After being told I this book is better than Freakonomics I had high hopes. And I was not disappointed in the least. As the name says this book reads like a undercover detective story.

What I really like about this book, and perhaps now understanding Economics better, is that Economics is the study of what humans actually do versus what we think they are doing or what they may do. And how using complex mathematical models the non-obvious trends can be determined. I finally understand why coffee shops are so in vogue and particular why you and me would be willing to pay more for something we now make at home. Just having read the final chapter on China is almost like freaky because just yesterday I received an invitation to speak at a conference in Shanghai!

Remember to checkout the website of the author, Tim Hardford, a contributor to the Financial Times and Slate.

If you wanna buy the Undercover Economist from Amazon.com click here.

Sordid sex scare on cellphone chat system

By Barbara Hollands

Mxit addicts are like other addicts they start meeting a legitimate need for love or caring in an illegitimate way.” He wants to know who my contacts are, but I know he talks to other women and that he gets naked pictures of them. The trendy new cellphone chat system, Mxit, is luring teens and adults into a sordid underworld of sex, treachery, pornography and infidelity. Eastern Cape users this week told how their addiction to the cheap messaging system, which until now has been seen as just another fashionable plaything for teens had become so strong it destroyed their marriages and jobs.

One middle-aged woman told how she had left her husband for a man she met in a chatroom on Mxit. She gave up her job and marriage to move to Pretoria, only to find he was a much younger man who still lived with his mother. In another case, a self-confessed Mxit addict told his friends how he accessed the Port Elizabeth chatroom to meet women to have sex with. Despite having a steady girlfriend, he has set himself a target to sleep with 100 women and is already on number 23.

Regular users say Mxit chatrooms are inundated with men making lewd suggestions. Another user admitted to sending naked photographs of herself to a man she met in a chatroom and became infatuated with.

“That was a crazy thing to do because they could be circulating on the internet now,” she said. Mxit is an instant messaging programme that lets users chat to others who are logged on via the mobile internet rather than using a standard SMS. Addiction counsellor Steve Buys said obsessive use of Mxit could be termed an addiction because it affected normal relationships, work and family.

“Mxit addicts are like other addicts, they start meeting a legitimate need for love or caring in an illegitimate way,” said Buys.

“They replace face-to-face connections with electronic relationships and these will always be superficial and involve people lying and deceiving each other. “Also, when it comes to real relationships these people might later have trouble forming real connections.” Port Elizabeth book-keeper Debbie Hardy (not her real name) told Weekend Post she came close to ending her marriage after meeting a Pretoria man on one of the Mxit chatrooms and falling in love with him.

After conducting a passionate cellphone relationship with the man, which included the two exchanging full-frontal photographs of their naked bodies, Hardy resigned from her job, left her husband and went to Pretoria to meet her cellphone lover.

Hardy said she was “definitely addicted to Mxit” and would text her lover at all times of the day and night. Her bubble burst when she met the Pretoria man after she resigned from her job and left her husband in December. “He wasn’t what I expected at all. He was younger than me and very immature and he was still living with his mother, so I came back to my husband and he forgave me.”

Hardy says she also introduced her 20-year-old sister to Mxit and was horrified when she fell for the same Pretoria man.

“She went for the same guy and when I found out I blew a gasket. She also sent him nude photographs of herself. She left her boyfriend and their two-year-old daughter, caught a bus to Pretoria and stayed with him for a week and slept with him. When it didn’t work out she came back and her boyfriend gave her another chance, but then she fell for another guy on Mxit and again left and went to Pietermaritzburg and had sex with him.

“But when she came back her boyfriend didn’t want her back and he is now fighting for the custody of their child. That really opened my eyes about Mxit and I feel so guilty because I introduced her to it.” Hardy says she has a male friend who has decided to become a Casanova”. She said he accessed the Port Elizabeth chatroom on Mxit to meet women to have sex with.

“He told my husband he has set a target to sleep with 100 women and he is already on number 23, even though he has a girlfriend. He works for a bank and is intelligent with a nice car and a good salary, but women should be careful of him because he just wants to use them.” Post Elizabeth debtors and creditors clerk Tanya Elliott (not her real name), 24, said she first hooked up to Mxit when she heard about it from a colleague and says she is now addicted to it and that it has ruined her relationship with her boyfriend with whom she has a two- year-old child.

“At first I wasn’t interested, but then seven months ago I put it on my cellphone because it is a cheaper way to stay in touch with friends and it also has chatrooms where I made a few good friends.”

The trouble started when Elliott could no longer control the amount of time she was spending on Mxit. Elliott says her boyfriend also uses Mxit and this has caused jealous fights between them. “He wants to know who my contacts are, but I know he talks to other women and that he gets naked pictures of them. Our relationship is not the same any more because of Mxit. Once my friend set him up by flirting with him on Mxit under another name and he said he wanted pictures of her and to meet her, so I know he is unfaithful.”

Childline National co-ordinator Joan van Niekerk said addiction to internet chatrooms and Mxit chatrooms was similar and that children could easily access both, but that advances in technology should not be blamed if paedophiles abuse it to access children.

“When we first had phones, there were people who made obscene phone calls, then with the internet, paedophiles learnt how to misuse the technology. There will always be people who exploit innovations in technology and our responsibility as adults and children is to protect ourselves from this.”

Source: Weekend Post

Panic button on your cellphone

This is a reprint from the Pete’s Weekly email newsletter for entrepreneurs with a rather sad story. It alerted me to another way to turn cellphones into a useful tool for families which is mentioned below…Ramon

I am deeply saddened to tell you that Sheldean Human’s body was discovered late Monday. I don’t know why this particular little girl, out of the nine children that go missing each day in South Africa, so struck a chord with me. It may be that my daughter, my last reproductive effort, will be born sometime in the next four weeks unless she is as slow as her father and chooses to wander into the world in April, 2008.

One of the things I have learnt since arriving in the United Kingdom is how the local community gets involved in every case involving children — often using lots of technology. And the perpetrators usually get caught quickly. We have some of that technology available in SA, yet we choose to throw the responsibility onto the shoulders of others – particularly the police.

I believe that we parents have an obligation to all children to protect them, not just our own. And if we ignore that duty towards other youngsters, how can we expect others to look after our nestlings when they get lost. Please, I beseech you, if you have young children, please join www.eblockwatch.co.za and put a panic button on your phone, and your children’s phones. (And if you’re feeling cynical today, I have not been offered anything to make this appeal. And I would be insulted if I was.)

I hesitate before giving any life advice, because it seems that I always manage to offend somebody. Right now, however, I don’t give a darn. If we don’t stand together right now, we will all fall at some point. If we stand together, not only will we continue to stand, but we can make a difference.

At the risk of insulting other efforts, I don’t think we can blame the police. Frankly, I don’t believe any of us could work in the conditions that they are faced with each day. And no, I don’t believe there is much point in blaming the politicians either. They are so far away from the problem that I don’t think they understand it, and no amount of driving with our lights on, or sending e-mail petitions (which, forgive me, are “signed” by a few “rich” people who can afford PCs and the Internet), or doing those delicate protests that we (white) people manage to do with so little effect, are going to make any difference.

I genuinely believe that the only difference we can make, is for each one of us — that’s you and me — to do something. Today.

I know that you have heard the story, but I’m going to repeat it, because I believe it highlights the apathy that we South Africans share — wherever we go. (I am allowed to say that. I am one.) I know this because every time I publish anything, on any subject known to man, I receive a barrage of e-mail telling me how wrong I am. If we don’t take action ourselves, we cannot blame others.

A man was walking along a deserted beach at sunset. As he walked he could see a young boy in the distance, as he drew nearer he noticed that the boy kept bending down, picking something up and throwing it into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things into the ocean.

As the man approached even closer, he was able to see that the boy was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time he was throwing them back into the water.

The man asked the boy what he was doing, the boy replied,”I am throwing these washed up starfish back into the ocean, or else they will die. “But”, said the man, “You can’t possibly save them all, there are thousands on this beach, and this must be happening on hundreds of beaches along the coast. You can’t possibly make a difference.” The boy smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied.

“I made a huge difference to that one!”

Sheldean was just such a starfish – one of 279 that will get lost on a beach this month. You, and your observant eyes or cellphone, might be the one chance my child needs. What are you doing to look after the children that are our future?

A reminder to visit the eblockwatch website today.

Benjamin Hoff on leaving authorship

Tao of Pooh & Te of Piglet by Benjamin HoffI stumbled across an essay by Benjamin Hoff about leaving authorship here today. Its not a surprise because I’m well aware of the rise of the multinational corporations. And the rise of globalisation is directly linked to the rise of corporations like this. This in turn makes it difficult for the small guy to compete. But that’s where the Internet comes in. It has returned power to the small guy. You can publish yourself online at a fraction of the cost and still develop a readership.

Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff is a classic in modern literature because it blends fiction from Winnie-the-Pooh to explain the philosophy of Taoism. One day I would like to write stories like this because using the simplicity of children’s stories is a most ingenious way of explaining unfamiliar or unusual philosophical concepts like Taoism. And maybe the same can be said for technology.

To learn more about Taoism please click here…

Leykis 101 – Three Dates Rule

Tom Leykis

I mentioned this Leykis 101 rule in interview with Sunday Times last year. Most of the critics jumped on this because it implies having sex with many different people. The journalist never mentioned that I, like Tom Leykis, always recommend using a condom. It simply comes down to setting some clear boundaries for yourself as a guy so you don’t get suckered into the “let’s just be friends” category.Here’s the rule…

This one can be the hardest to follow, but abide by it. Girls know within the first 5 minutes how far they will go with you, and will probably do so at the earliest possible time. If you’ve been crossed off the “I’ll sleep with him” list, it’s very very difficult, and time consuming to get back on it.

Your time is better spent chasing new prospects. If you’re on the list, you can still screw it up by being a jackass. If nothing’s happened in 3 dates, it’s time to move on. The chances of you sleeping with her by now is very low. The only time you should see her again is if there is guaranteed sex. Continuing to pursue her will just cost you more money and waste more of your time.

Get more tenents of Leykis 101 here…

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