When Mom or Dad Asks To Be a Facebook 'Friend'

Matt, 17, and Bob Florian both use FacebookMatt, 17, and Bob Florian both use Facebook, and Bob Florian knew that his son might have doubts about becoming his Facebook friend. (By Susan Biddle — The Washington Post)

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When Matt Florian signed onto his Facebook account recently to check the status of his 400-plus friends, he had a friend request.

It was from his dad.

The junior at Sherwood High School in Montgomery County didn’t panic. No. He simply took a deep breath and pondered his options.

He could accept it. He could ignore it. He could accept it, but limit the parts of his Facebook profile his dad could see. He pondered more. What were the social implications of “friending” your folks?

Across the country, Facebook users are contemplating similar questions when they log onto their accounts. More and more moms and dads are signing onto Facebook to keep up with their offspring. Not only are they friending (or attempting to friend) their sons and daughters, they’re friending their sons’ and daughters’ friends.

Some, like Matt, take the requests in stride. He ultimately friended his dad. Others are less sanguine, voicing their dismay via online groups that decry parental intrusion and offer tips on how to screen out mom and dad. (“Just go onto their computers and delete their accounts.” “Just don’t add them as a friend or any1 that is a co-worker with ur parents duh.”) Even parenting experts are getting involved, offering their own tips on proper Facebook etiquette.

“I do not know if this has happened to anybody, but this morning I log on to Facebook and I have a new friend request!” wrote 19-year-old Mike Yeamans, a sophomore at James Madison University, on one of several “No Parents on Facebook” groups that have popped up on the site. “I am excited to make a new friend so I click on the link. I could not believe what I saw. My father! This is an outrage!”

When Facebook was launched by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004, it was designed as a way for college students to connect with each other. Users created a personal page and were able to accept or send out electronic “friend” requests for people to be included in their networks. People who were “friends” were able to keep tabs on people in their network, send messages and even connect with friends of friends. It was like an exclusive private club, since it was open only to those with certain e-mail addresses.

But as Facebook’s popularity soared, its founders sought to expand its audience. In 2005, it allowed high school students to sign on. But it was the 2006 decision to open it up to the general public that drew howls from its original audience — and opened the door for the parental invasion.

In protest, several “abolish parent” groups have sprung up on the site.

Yeamans and a few of his friends started “What Happens in College Stays in College: Keep Parents Off Facebook!” in 2007. They meant it partly as a joke but were stunned when more than 500 people signed on, each with a tale of parental intrusion.

“My mom joined facebook when they first made it public and is mad i won’t approve her friend request!” wrote one indignant student.

read the full story on Washington Post website.

Isabel Allende tells tales of passion at TED

On one of the most beloved talks from TED2007, novelist Isabel Allende talks about writing, women, passion, feminism. She tells the stories of powerful women she has known, some larger-than-life (listen for a beauty tip from Sophia Loren), and some simply living with grace, dignity and ingenuity in a world that, in too many ways, still treats women unjustly.

Anti child-porn alliance launched in Europe

by Chimwemwe Mwanza*

Barcelona – How do mobile operators curb access to websites that pro-actively peddle pornography without interfering in the rights of subscribers?

This is one of the biggest challenges facing European mobile operators particularly those in Norway and France.

Alarmed at the rate at which children were easily accessing pornography sites, the GSM Association (GSMA) has formed an organisation called the Mobile Alliance Against Child Sexual Abuse Content to help curb minors’ access to web-based pornography.

“Do operators filter access to pornographic material – the result of which could easily cost them subscribers,” asked GSMA chairperson Craig Erlich.

Operators have less of a choice under these circumstances; they have to rein in on the kind of content that consumers have access to.

Erlich says that international policing group Interpol has in its possession over 200 000 online images of child pornography, representing over 20 000 individual children.

According to Telenor – a Norwegian telecoms operator that’s successfully introduced a filtering system – child pornography has been on the increase in Norway over the past 10 years, with online child abuse content growing by 74% from 2005-06.

When fully functional, the newly established anti child pornography body is expected to have a global footprint and hopes to draw on the support of global mobile operators, governments and regulatory bodies to clamp down on the scourge.

“We have got to make it difficult for child porn vendors to profit the distribution of such offensive material.”

In Europe, Vodafone – with the backing of the European Union – was leading the campaign still in its infancy but with time Erlich hopes that MTN, Orascom, Celtel and Vodacom – four of the biggest operators in Africa – would embrace the initiative.

* Mwanza is attending the 3GSM conference in Barcelona, Spain, as a guest of Cell C. Originally published on Fin24.

KAIROS – Where Time and Destiny meets

Now and again we stand in front of a crowd to do a little motivation!

But what do you do when there is just nothing left – and all these words fly by – like a super highway?

What works for me is –
You know when you look back on your life and certain moments’ just jumps out at you.
Moments that really changed your life?

Life defining moments – these are called Kairos moments
The name Kairos is explained as a suitable word for a company that is able to identify growth opportunities and through astute management, magnify the benefits to investors

(a Greek word for – time that stands separate from other periods)

Why Kairos and what does it mean for us?

We all meet people daily, people who are tired of where they are right now and who have a dream or a vision of where they want to be.

And without realizing it – we can be part of their Kairos – and this becomes our Kairos – that moment – that magic!

It doesn’t matter for how a short period; or how many years we spend at a company.

YOU – whether a senior person or not – have the opportunity to create Kairos moments on a daily basis

We have a profound impact on people just by listening and making them feel understood.

(As Mike Lejeune said – Ahh – someone gets me)

Every call that you take, every conversation with colleagues, clients and candidates is a possible Kairos moment.

Treat it as such!

Give an A

Have you ever felt that doing your best is just not good enough? That the effort and dedication you have put in is not recognised by your manager, team or even in your personal life by your partner?

I think we all do at some stage….

You are your own worst critic.

We constantly compare one consultant against another, one child against the other and even one partner against someone else’s or previous partners

What if it would be possible for us to change this and shift our attitudes by giving ourselves all A’s.

Ben Sander calls this practice – giving an A. And it can be given to anyone in any walk of life. You can give this gift to yourself or someone else. Even your mother in Law.

What do you think will happen when you give your most difficult client an A and treat him/her exactly like the client you like and climb mountains for?

A freely given A changes our perception of relationships.

Frightening isn’t it!

An A is not an expectation to live up to but a possibility to live into…..

Cape Town celebrates its unique innovation in the IT industry

The Cape IT Initiative (CITI) concluded a bumper year last night announcing the winners of its VIP Graduate Club and Women in IT programme.

Kathy McCabe was announced as the overall winner in the Women in IT programme. McCabe runs Radical Learning, which supplies bespoke learning software as well as training to a number of underprivileged schools in the Western Cape.

Kathy epitomises what CITI stands for. Not only is she a smart and dynamic woman, but her work is furthering the growth of IT amongst our young people. By exposing them to IT at a young age we are increasing their reading and technology literacy, said Viola Manuel, executive director of CITI.

The VIP Graduate Club focuses on equipping IT graduates with additional business skills that will help them excel in both the corporate and the entrepreneurial spaces.

Lee Meyer walked away with the prize in the corporate stream, and Nayeela Joomaye scooped best entrepreneur title. The VIP Graduate Club is run in conjunction with Microsoft SA.

McCabe and Joomaye will join other Western Cape entrepreneurs in the CITI incubator, Bandwidth Barn, for the duration of 2008. McCabe will also be accompanying other CITI member companies to the premier IT exhibition CEBIT in Germany next year, where she will showcase her products and services to a global market.

Newly elected CITI Chair, Andrea Böhmert, outlined the organisations vision for the next three years saying that real innovation was required if Western Cape companies were to take their place on the global stage.

³If Cape-based IT entrepreneurs want to grow their businesses, they will need to shift their mindset, climb out of their comfort zones and develop the skills that are necessary to cope with the international competition outside of our home turf,² she said.

CITI also issued a call for interest for both Women in IT and the VIP Graduate Club for 2008.

Next year holds enormous promise for our local companies. CITI has continued to refine its delivery. Our success has been recognised internationally, with the Canadian government requesting detailed delivery plans in order to replicate some of our programmes. CITI continues to grow from strength to strength, but our continued success still depends on a functional and determined IT cluster, Manuel concluded.

Interested entrepreneurs can contact CITI via email on admin@citi.org.za

'No Mobile Phones for Teens at Home, Campus' – Minister

The Indian government is reflecting a real threat to long term cognitive abilities of children growing up in a world whee there has always been cellphones, computers and the Internet. If you are serious about doing something talk to your counsellor or politicians about similar legislation. Technology companies will freak out about this because they are in some warped way the new tobacco companies. And we all know what happened with them. Here’s the story…

Bangalore, Sep 12: After banning sale of soft drinks on school and college premises, the State Government is now all set to ban use of mobile phones by children up to 16 years of age. While teachers and heads of educational institutions would be authorised to confiscate mobile phones if students from primary to pre-university education were found using it, the onus would be on parents to enforce it at home.

The decision had been taken on the basis of suggestions from medical experts on adverse impact of using mobile phones on children, Primary and Secondary Education Minister Basavaraj Horatti and Health Minister R Ashok told media persons at a joint media conference here on Tuesday.

Use of mobile phones by growing children for long durations have an adverse impact on brain, nervous system and ear. We have taken this decision on the advice from paediatricians. A circular will be issued in this regard within a few days. Parents play an important role in enforcing this ban in the interest of their own children,?? the ministers said.

Comprehensive guidelines for the ban would be formulated in consultation with law department. Action would be taken against even mobile phone dealers who sell the instruments to children below 16 years of age. All the special packages of mobile service providers would be scrapped, Ashok declared.

As for enforcement of the ban outside the educational institutions, the ministers said, We will examine whether to authorise the police department to enforce it.

Apart from the health perspective, the action would also help in ensuring a more congenial atmosphere for learning in class rooms, especially in urban areas, they said. An extensive campaign through posters and other media would be launched to bring awareness about the harmful effects of mobile phones on children?s health, they added.

source: DaijiWorld.

Teacher honored for online safety plan

Avondale Meadows Upper Elementary science teacher Laura AmatulliAvondale Meadows Upper Elementary science teacher Laura Amatulli smiles as she stands in her classroom, which was redone by designer Vanessa Deleon. Amatulli won the makeover for her creative lesson in Internet safety.Sixth-graders in teacher Laura Amatulli’s class are going to be safer on the computer, thanks to a lesson plan she created.

Students are also going to be surprised when they enter Amatulli’s Avondale Meadows Upper Elementary classroom when school starts Sept. 4, because their

Avondale Meadows Upper Elementary science teacher Laura Amatulli smiles as she stands in her classroom, which was redone by designer Vanessa Deleon. Amatulli won the makeover for her creative lesson in Internet safety.

teacher won a $10,000 classroom makeover by a New York designer in a national contest.

The lesson plan Amatulli created to teach children about Internet security made her a national grand prize winner in the Honeywell and National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s Got 2B Safe! Awards Program. It recognizes teachers who are committed to keeping children safe from abduction and sexual exploitation.

“I have children of my own,” said Amatulli, an Auburn Hills resident who has been at Avondale schools seven years and was delighted this week watching the designer at work in her classroom.

“Much of children’s socialization today is on the Internet,” Amatulli said. “When I was a kid, I came home and played with friends. Now children go home and talk to their friends on the Internet. I really saw a need for a foundation on Internet safety.”

The teacher’s desire to teach Internet safety comes in a time when adults are infiltrating chat rooms or e-mail addresses used by children. They ask for personal information, try to talk youths into meeting them, or coerce some into sending inappropriate photos over the Web. Police departments have created task forces dedicated to protecting children from pedophiles who seek children on the Internet.

“My students frequent chat rooms and communicate with Instant Messenger nightly,” Amatulli said.

In her search for ideas to promote Internet safety, Amatulli found the Got 2 B Safe! competition on the Honeywell Web site. It requires four safety rules be a key part of any entry by teachers around the country.

“They are easy rules kids can recognize quickly,” she said.

“I took the Honeywell idea and incorporated it in a lesson plan. Before the children get on the Internet to do any research, we talk about safety first and they create their own public service announcements on Internet safety; what to report and who to report it to.

“They totally understand and they are very receptive.”

After explaining the rules, the teacher also cites a scenario and asks the students what they would do. For example, a student is in a chat room and one of the Ôgirls’ she has met on the Internet says she is coming through town and wants to get together at the mall. The Ôgirl’ who gives the name of Morgan also asks for the student’s home number and address.

Amatulli asks her students; “Do you think (the student) made a good choice by saying she would meet Morgan? Should she give her home information out? How can you apply the Four Rules For Safety to this situation?”

Students will be given time to discuss and reflect on the situation and come up with decisions that will protect them in the future.

Then students create a commercial for their peers that include the “Four Rules For Safety.” This commercial will be uploaded to the classroom Web site, where their peers and parents can view it from home.

Amatulli does not want to discourage the use of the Internet.

“In our classroom, we embrace technology. That’s their future. When you have a foundation of safety, you don’t have to fear it because you understand what’s right and what’s wrong and what should be reported,” Amatulli said.

“This year, we are going to publish it on the Avondale district Web site, along with a public service Pod cast,” she said. The Oakland Press/JOSE JUAREZ

Just the Facts About Online Youth Victimization

The research now about victimisation on the Internet turns out to be vastly different from what is reported in the media. This is leading me to believe South Africa needs to investigate heavily in researching the impact of Internet and mobile phones on young children and teenagers. So many assumptions are turning out to be false. Here’s a short transcript followed by a video clip of the proceedings. Double click on the video below to gain access to Youtube and the 9 videos in total. You may also want to visit the Youth Online 2007 page for mp3 audio version, and additional resources of these proceedings.

But actually, the research in the cases that we’ve gleaned from actual law enforcement files, for example, suggests a different reality for these crimes. So first fact is that the predominant online sex crime victims are not young children. They are teenagers. There’s almost no victims in the sample that we collected from – a representative sample of law enforcement cases that involved the child under the age of 13.

In the predominant sex crime scenario, doesn’t involve violence, stranger molesters posing online as other children in order to set up an abduction or assault. Only five percent of these cases actually involved violence. Only three percent involved an abduction. It’s also interesting that deception does not seem to be a major factor. Only five percent of the offenders concealed the fact that they were adults from their victims. Eighty percent were quite explicit about their sexual intentions with the youth that they were communicating with.

So these are not mostly violence sex crimes, but they are criminal seductions that take advantage of teenage, common teenage vulnerabilities. The offenders lure teens after weeks of conversations with them, they play on teens’ desires for romance, adventure, sexual information, understanding, and they lure them to encounters that the teams know are sexual in nature with people who are considerably older than themselves.

< Remember to click here to view all the videos of these proceedings.

Patricia de Lille vs MXit and the Bloggers

You may have heard Patricia de Lille speaking out on MXit and Blogging over the last few days. Well she was on 702/Cape Talk radio last night. I tuned in towards the tail end of the conversation. Dave Duarte, a blogger, stepped in to defend freedom of expression with blogging. I called in to make the listeners aware of the Parents Guide to MXit. And more importantly about the importance of education. One thing that you as a user should demand is that your service provider, whether cellphone, mobile or Internet based does more to educate the public at large.

The banks in South Africa, for example, have been suffering from increasing attacks of what is called phishing. They have posted some notices on their websites but I have seen little else in the form of reassuring the public. MXit has since responded to Patricia de Lille’s outrages request to have blogging and MXit regulated.

It is extremely difficult to regulate blogging because it’s on the Internet or rather the World Wide Web. As Herman Heunis, CEO of MXit Lifestyle said in his response to de Lille, even China with it’s massive investment in online censorship with firewalls, proxys and filters, cannot prevent all their citizens from speaking out. They successfully block a large portion but users or the community will always find a way to make it’s voice heard.

So what is your response to this as parents, citizens or some other stakeholder. My advice is that you apply more pressure on government to make basic computer literacy compulsory for all teachers, learners, civil servants. That is a good starting point. Next you can request from your ISP or favourite website that they support this online safety action campaign. All they have to do is start by putting a link to this website. They can also publish safety tips which I will gladly source for them to ensure it’s appropriate to their audience.

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