Some tips to avoid problems on social networks

by Ramon Thomas in Social Networking on 2929/040404/2010201020102010 • 2 Comments • , , ,

Here’s some tips for children:

  1. Never give out your full name or physical address. The less information about you on social networks the better.
  2. Ensure that you use the maximum amount of privacy and only invite/accept friends that you actually know in the real world.
  3. When someone posts a nasty comment on your social networking profile, delete it and remove/block them so they cannot do it again.
  4. When someone talks to you about sexually explicit topics, stop talking and block them.
  5. Tell your parents about anything unusual so they can help you deal with it.

Here’s some tips for parents:

  1. Sit with your child and ask them to show you around the social networks they use.
  2. Talk to your child about posting to many photos on the social networking sites because this puts them at greater risk from predators.
  3. Encourage your children to talk openly about anyone who is stalking or harassing them online so you can help them through it.
  4. Place limits on the amount of time you child spend on the Internet e.g. between 8am-8pm during the week or limited airtime on cellphones.
  5. Use technology as a source of conversation over the dinner table to show your children you are interested in their world.
  6. Don’t let technology be a substitute for parenting or experience. Spend time with your children doing other activities so they can learn how to do them and in the process bond with you.
  7. Do your best to avoid violent computer games for your children because this conditions them to become desensitised to the same acts in the real world.

Ramon Thomas is a available for a motivational talk on the psychology of technology and social media for parents, teachers and learners.

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How to deal with increased abuse of MXit or Facebook

by Ramon Thomas in Internet on 1313/030303/2009200920092009 • 4 Comments • , , , ,

Recent media reports indicate another spike in MXit related incidents ranging from teen abductions to children spreading pornography. On the business side MXit is entering online payments and mobile banking arena and will probably continue it’s relationship with MNET Idols reality TV show facilitating voting for the contestants. Families, schools and communities have always been up in arms over the last three years. In my public talks to schools and church groups I have tried my best to explain both the pro’s and the con’s to my audiences.

When children get access to technology like cellphones or the Internet at an early age, they often do so without any guidelines. So it becomes very important for parents to understand what those guidelines are and to adopt them from an early age. If not they run the risk of these online incidents that take place on MXit or Facebook for that matter to spill over into their daily lives. The incidents appear to be on the increase because MXit user base has continued to grow and now has over 11 million registered users. The number of international users are also on the increase, which wides the possibilities for abuse from people in other countries with your children in South Africa.

Unlike computers there is no software available to block or track what people do on cellphones. Each make of a cellphone practically runs a different operating system, which makes it difficult for software developers to create these software so freely available on the Internet for PC users. Both Vodacom and MTN have some limited mechanism for parental control. In all cases I encourage parents to install those options where avaialable. Please remember it will not block or control what children can do on MXit. The MXit platform exists outside of these parent control measures. So it sounds like you’re back to square one.

What parents can do is focus on open and regular dialogue with your children. All I’m saying is the basics of parenting. One specific thing I encourage parents to do is to begin using MXit themselves. In the first place it begins to demystify the technology for the parents themselves and it also shows the kids that parents are willing or able to learn and understand.  In many cases I believe children are very open to showing their family members how to benefit from these fun technologies. In most cases the approach from the parents is one of control because of a lack of understanding.

Anyway here’s some basic guidelines to follow from MSNBC slightly adapted.

Teach your children to:
# Think before they click: With whom are they chatting (MXit) or e-mailing (Facebook), what are they saying and how are they saying it? Will the person on the other end know they are joking?
# Walk away from the computer or put the cellphone down and “Take 5” before responding to something that upsets them online
# Avoid spreading rumours, assisting in cyberbullying or sharing private communications online.
# Follow the golden rule of cyberspace: Don’t do anything online that you wouldn’t do in real life!

Follow responsible safety practices yourself on your computer:
# Install spyware and adware blocking software on your computer
# Make sure you have a working firewall on your computer
# Install anti-virus software and update it regularly
# Take advantage of spam-blocking tools offered by your Internet provider or e-mail software

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Interview on Chai FM, Jewish community radio station

by Ramon Thomas in Media on 1919/121212/2008200820082008 • 4 Comments • , , , ,

[NB! I often receive phone calls or emails from people thinking this website is Chai FM. Please contact them directly via their websitebecause I was only a guest on the radio station a few times.]

Today I received an invitation to do my first interview with this new Jewish community radio station next week 10, Tuesday, 23 December 2008. We will be discussing what technology is popular among children, why it’s so popular and coping strategies for Jewish parents and families in general. The big take away for me learning about diverse South African groups is how strong families are in some and weak in others.

While doing my own background research I came across this promo video for the brand new Chai 101.9 FM Johannesburg, South Africa, a 24 hour a day Jewish radio station!

“Chai Fm is a Jewish community radio station broadcasting to the greater Johannesburg area on 101.9fm. The station is talk format with 20% Jewish music. Programming is determined by community research and reflects the diverse views of the community. Based on “Tools for Life”, Chai Fm provides programming that is informative, educational, entertaining and relevant to the community.

The objectives of Chai FM are to: Unite the Jewish community, to build the connection between the community and the land of Israel, to reflect ourselves to ourselves and to provide programming that is relevant, informative, intelligent, honest, engaging, reflects a diversity of views and is entertaining.

Chai FM is for all the Jews of Johannesburg, irrespective of observance levels, age, gender, race or financial status.

“The station aims to provide a platform for debate and a diversity of opinion” says Kathy Kaler, a director of Chai FM. She adds: “It’s so easy to think that our communities are insular and we can forget we are each part of a greater “whole”.

Chai FM was granted a community broadcasting licence in June 2007 and will begin broadcasting in September 2008.

Source: Teruah blog.

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Practical Psychology: Imitating successful people can create our own success

by Ramon Thomas in Psychology on 1313/080808/2008200820082008 • No Comments • ,

By Lloyd Thomas

Achieving success in any endeavour follows a definite pattern. If you wish to be successful at anything, it is wise to identify people who have already been successful, learn what they have done, then do the same things. Only after you have developed their skills within yourself is it wise to add your own personal creativity to what you do. I refer to this method for creating success in life as imitating the masters.

All children imitate the masters, practice what they see others doing and then experiment by creating their own additional actions. Imitation is a most powerful form of learning. Children learn by observing the actions of others, imitating those activities, and practicing those that work to meet their needs and desires. If you desire to be successful at living, follow that same pattern.

If you wish to be successful in any endeavour, imitate the masters who have achieved success in that same endeavour.

Early in this century, Napoleon Hill studied more than 700 successful people to learn their secrets of success. He became a master of the elements of others’ success. He authored several books that have become the classics of success and have had immense worldwide impact. He identified at least 17 keys to success.

Key steps

Here is a condensation of the most powerful ones:

  1. Adopt a definite purpose. “Study every person you can think of who has achieved lasting success, and you will find that each one has had a definite major purpose.”
  2. Write out a specific plan for fulfilling your definite purpose. Keep revising the plan as you take action.
  3. Develop a mastermind alliance. Surround yourself with others whose minds are in perfect harmony with your definite major purpose. “All truly great minds have been reinforced through contact with others that allowed them to grow and expand.” Inspire teamwork.
  4. Initiate action and persevere continuously in pursuit of fulfilling your major purpose. Develop self-motivation, self-discipline and enthusiasm for your activities.
  5. Create a healthy, attractive personality. Some of the elements of a healthy personality include a positive mental attitude, flexibility, honesty, sincerity of purpose, keen sense of humor, faith in infinite intelligence, keen sense of justice, emotional control, fondness for people, versatility, decisiveness and charisma. Those are characteristics everyone can develop.
  6. Overcome fear. Move toward your definite purpose even if in doubt. Fear paralyzes or distorts our actions. Replace fear with hope, belief and courage.
  7. Think accurately and focus your attention. Focused attention is your most powerful personal force. Remain open to new ideas, concepts and thoughts. Evaluate not only the information and content of your mental life, but your own thought processes as well.
  8. Learn from adversity and defeat. Insanity is doing the same things over and over, while expecting a different outcome.
  9. Maintain sound health of your mind/body. Your mind, body and environment are a single unit. Ensure the health and vitality of all three aspects of that unit.
  10. Effectively manage your time and money. Budget both.
  11. Make use of natural, cosmic and wealth-creating forces.

If every one of us developed those skills within ourselves and practiced the activities outlined, our successes in living would be assured. We usually create our futures, even as we have since childhood. We might as well imitate the masters at successful living, thereby creating a personal lifestyle that brings us fulfilment and happiness.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. is a certified life coach and licensed psychologist, specializing in life coaching and behavioral medicine. Contact him: 3421 Polk Circle West, Wellington, CO. 80549.

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Study reveals more then 40% children in US exposed to Pornography

by Ramon Thomas in News/Research on 0808/020202/2007200720072007 • No Comments • ,

A shocking study has revealed that almost half of all children in America between 10 and 17 years old have been exposed to pornography. About 80% of those exposed pornography was displayed during unrelated searches. Filtering software does reduce the risk of unwanted exposure. The full study is being published in the February edition of Paediatrics. Go here to read the full article on Bloomberg.
In a unrelated incident a married Hong Kong man was caught with over 27,000 child pornography pictures here.

Parents Guide to MXit available today

by Ramon Thomas in Downloads on 0101/111111/2006200620062006 • 24 Comments • , , , ,

MXit cellphone chat softwareThe Parents Guide to MXit is now available from today. This concise guide is made available at no cost to all concerned parents or educators, who may have sleepless nights about children using MXit, the popular chat application that enables communication on cell phones at the fraction of SMS costs.

Ramon Thomas, online behaviour expert at NETucation, one of South Africa’s leading online research organisations, produced this guide after a spate of negative publicity and shocking incident, since being interviewed about this topic on Cape Talk/702 in early September 2006.

“This guide explains MXit in plain and simple English for parents and teachers,” says Thomas. “Once you understand MXit it very important to note the impact on your relationship with your child, the possibility and probability of addiction and abuse.”

MXit Lifestyle (Pty) Ltd, the company who created the MXit application, states the current growth is about 10,000 new users per day. Latest stats indicate 385,000 users between 12-17 and 462,000 users between 18-25. After being released in late 2005, MXit has broken through the 2 million subscriber base in record time. And is the fastest growing cellphone application in South African history. As we approach the festive season when SMS volumes normally spike, MXit usage, and subscribers should continue to increase as rapid pace.

“Parent’s must realise this phenomenon is practically unstoppable,” says Dr Helgo Schomer, UCT academic and registered psychologist who runs the Institute of Behavioural Health in Cape Town. He further explains that in virtual environments like MXit, people have no responsibility to adhere to acceptable social etiquette. Rumours can be spread, people can create fake identities, and there is no retribution or consequences to face up to.

The most important aspects covered in the guide is this:

  1. How Cellphone/MXit impacts on family relationships
  2. Coping with Cellphone/MXit Addiction/Abuse
  3. Installing and using MXit on your phone
  4. Navigating the MXit environment
  5. Chat room lingo

Patrick Hoare, founder of Kids Online, says, “Parents should not take away their children’s cellphones because it may give rise to cellphones being used in secret.” Parents normally teach us not to talk to strangers, yet we do that online. Do not accept invitations to chat privately from strangers on MXit.

Its easy to get your copy of Parents Guide to MXit, just click here to download it right now. And spread the word by pointing people to this website.

Ramon Thomas, is available for public talks at schools, churches or non-profit organisations please call 074 124 1696 for bookings.

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